As I write this post I happen to be listening to "Trying To Throw Your Arms Around The World" by U2. I think that it is fitting because it the theme of this blog post and it captures my current emotions.
For so long I have been excited about coming to St. Andrews. Truly I loved my time in Edinburgh and Sterling, but coming to my actual university was the prize I sought. It was what I had worked so hard to achieve. What I wrote countless essays for, what I applied for numerous scholarships to pay for, what I daydreamed about all summer about. Now that I am here, I am beginning to realize a lot of things. Amongst them and most important: it is extremely overwhelming.
I have an idea in my head of what I want my time at St. Andrews to be like; I want to slip into the culture of it as a senior student who brings with him an unique personality and ability to reach others. Unfortunately, as I write this blog post it is not possible to achieve all that it in a night. That is me trying to throw my arms around the world.
Recognizing this is so liberating and freeing. I know that everything will work out. I know how to be a college student. I have done it for three years. Being a college student at St. Andrews is what excited me so much. But right now I find myself in the start of "freshers week", essentially Orientation. This is a big night for St. Andrews' new freshmen. And I should respect it. I had my "first night at college" three years ago. I did not come to St. Andrews to be a fresher, I came to be a studious senior who loves literature, poetry, and talking to people he does not know. My time will come. For now I should settle into my room, stay connected to my friends who I made through my program's orientation, and keep smiling about the semester ahead of me. Here's to that!
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